What do you want?

If you have seen the movie or read the book “The Notebook”, you know this scene of the story well.

Here, I will attempt to explain how I see this scene astrologically and why I feel it represents the energies that are present for us early this year of 2023.

At the beginning of this scene, the main character Allie has received and read letters from the male character Noah. These letters had been kept from Allie to dissuade her love for Noah. This information had been hidden or missing from the past that comes back to her at a turning point in her life. (Mercury Retrograde in Capricorn)

Noah then asks her what she plans to do with this information and with what has happened prior to this scene-she left her fiancé and family to spend time with Noah (Venus in rebellious Aquarius). Allie is thinking and reviewing her choices based on new information and new experiences. (Mars Retrograde in Gemini) She struggles to make a decision because she is feeling the extremes. These extremes are between what she her heart wants, where her heart is pulling her, where she feels most herself and what is expected of her by her mother, society, her friends and fiancé. (The extremes of the past and the future is North Node in Taurus and the South Node in Scorpio)

Noah feels the frustration of the limitations of the circumstances keeping him from what he wants. (Capricorn energy and Venus conjunct Saturn) He sees her desire and he knows what he wants. He knows there is need to break societal conditioning. (Venus in Aquarius square Uranus in Taurus)

At 1:18-1:20 in, he says to her “This is not about following your heart. It's about security!” (Our recent Cancer Full Moon-emotional security and the Taurus energies-material and functional security. Venus square the karmic nodes indicates two different type of crises-a crisis in action and a crisis in consciousness)

There is honesty and vulnerability (karmic nodes) in this heated discussion when he asks her, “what do you want?”

He then repeats it, intensely. “What do you want?”

At this point, Allie is still struggling with her own desires versus what is expected of her by others. (Part of this is Libra energy which is associated with Venus). At the end of this clip, we see her leave Noah heartbroken, but the story continues… Allie expresses her true feelings to the other people in her life and comes back to Noah and her authentic life. She decided what she wanted was to follow her own path. (Venus in Aquarius) She realized that she needed to take action on her new self decision and returned for the life she wanted. (Mars stationing direct in Gemini)

If there were no outside interferences, no outside expectations, what would you choose for your own life? What do you really want?

Here is where you can use the big courage that Jupiter in Aries offers you. It brings you self belief to follow your own path against conditioned expectations use the Aquarius/Uranian energy to break yourself free.

What new direction did the Capricorn new moon initiate in you and what did you release at the Cancer full moon? What has been eliminated from how you relate to yourself and others? (Venus conjunct Pluto at the beginning of the new year)

So the burning question is - what do you want?

Transits for January

1/6/23 Cancer Full Moon-see “Can you feel my heart?” blog post

1/10/23 Venus in Aquarius square Lunar Nodes (South Node Scorpio/North Node Taurus) - energies extending about 2 weeks

1/13/23 Mars stations direct in Gemini - WATCH FOR NEW BLOG POST ON THIS TRANSIT!

1/14/23 Venus in Aquarius square Uranus retrograde in Taurus - energies extending about 2 weeks

1/18/23 Mercury stations direct in Capricorn

1/22/23 Venus conjunct Saturn in Aquarius/Uranus stations direct in Taurus/ New Moon in Aquarius - WATCH FOR NEW BLOG POST ON THIS TRANSIT!

Can you feel my heart? Cancer Full Moon 1/6/2023

I encourage you to listen to the song before you continue reading. The resonant energy of this song is significant.

If you decide not to, I will give you a few of the lyrics here:

“Can you hear the silence? Can you see the dark? Can you fix the broken? Can you feel, can you feel my heart? Can you help the hopeless? Well, I’m begging on my knees. Can you save my bastard soul? Will you wait for me?”

When you listen to the music or read the lyrics, who do you think of? Who would you be asking these questions-partner, friend, parent?

I’ll come back for your answer.

Have you ever had a sunburn? I know it may seem odd to talk about sunburns in the winter, but stay with me…

Do you remember what that first shower felt like? The burn after the burn.

And then when you tried to put a shirt on? The itchy and scratchy show.

And maybe after a day or so as it’s healing, you start to forget about it until someone pats you on the shoulder? Oh, there is that sting again!

This is the archetype of Chiron, called our wounded healer. Why am I talking about Chiron on a full moon post? Because he is a very key player in this lunar cycle. He is in a conversation with both the sun and moon which adds an extra layer to the already emotional Cancer moon.

That sunburn could be rejection, unworthiness, feeling unloved or unlovable, deep insecurity, abandonment, betrayal. Where do you find yourself to be extra sensitive? And when that sensitivity is touched, what are you reminded of and feel all over again?

So, why in the world do we need to experience that sting over and over again? Here is where Cancer comes in. Ruled by the moon, this is the seat of our emotions and the center of our ego. (understand that I use ego here as how we see and define ourselves, not as the negative stigma)

Cancer helps us understand our deep need for emotional security. Its polarity Capricorn helps us understand our boundaries and sense of self authority. Often, our conditioning provided us neither one. The sun in Capricorn is highlighting the need for self authority, the need to recognize and build emotional boundaries. The moon in Cancer is reflecting this from our innermost emotional space. And it wants TO FEEL!

Let’s revisit the song again…

“Can you hear the silence? Can you see the dark? Can you fix the broken? Can you feel, can you feel my heart? Can you help the hopeless? Well, I’m begging on my knees. Can you save my bastard soul? Will you wait for me?”

Who were you crying out to? Who didn’t see you?

Now, can you imagine that it is actually your inner child - crying out to you?

They need you now to hear them, to help fix their broken heart. They need you to feel for them!

The journey of listening to the inner child and to the inner critic can be really f*ckin’ scary! I know, I’m still on mine. But you don’t have to go alone.

If you would like some guidance and support on how to get started or if you need a safe space to continue, I think I can help.

Email Kara at thrivuary@gmail.com

Transits for this Cancer Full Moon

Sun in Capricorn, Moon in Cancer in a t-square to Chiron in Aries-wounding on the surface, the need to embrace emotions to heal the authority of self

Sun conjunct Mercury retrograde in Capricorn-the path forward is through the past

Active water trine (Moon in Cancer, South Node in Scorpio, Neptune in Pisces)-potential for tremendous emotional healing, requires confronting past pain, recognizing projected ideals to external sources, surrendering to Source/Creator/God/dess.

Venus ingress into Aquarius, new phase to Pluto-what has been or is pushing to be eliminated in order for you to move forward? what new ways are you working on becoming the best version of yourself? what is it that you really want?

A Christmas Carol Redux-Mercury Retrograde 12/2022

A story of retrospection, introspection, and the power of choice.

This is a story of a grumpy, old, miserly man named Ebenezer Scrooge who saw his family sent to debtors’ prison when he was young. This experience shaped the way he thought about life and created deep fear within him.  When he had an opportunity for love, he denied it for himself. He chose to focus on accumulation of money rather than wealth of relationships.  The story makes it clear that he was not interested in helping those less fortunate than himself.  He was fixed on maintaining his monetary wealth, but it came from a deep-seated fear within himself.

On Christmas Eve, Scrooge was visited, in a dream, by the ghost of his former business partner Marley. He sees Marley’s ghost wrapped up in chains and heavily burdened. Marley warns Scrooge that based on his current life, his chains are longer and heavier. Marley offers Scrooge a last chance to change his mind, to see how his choices affect so many lives, especially his own. He shows him scenes of Christmas nostalgia, the missed opportunity of the present and potential for the future-what his potential future would be like if Scrooge refuses to make changes.  Scrooge realizes that different choices could have been made and his life would have been significantly better. As he comes out of that experience, he makes new choices. And follows it with new action. He allows himself to desire compassion and depth of connection and reveals his authentic generous nature.

That was a pivotable moment in his life, and these are the energies of right now-a pivotal time in YOUR life.

It is the time frame to do some deep review.

• Look at your past conditioning from a zoomed-out perspective.  Are you ready to rewrite the narrative given to you by parents, caregivers, family, culture, society? Consider the choices you have made that brought you to where you are now.

• How do you value yourself? How do you value others? Where do you need to strengthen your boundaries? Where are emotional and mental walls keeping you imprisoned?  

• Do you want to continue to be burdened, held down, paralyzed by the weight of your chains? Do you hate the feeling of carrying them and, at the same time, terrified of the nakedness and vulnerability that exists without them?

These energies will not be leaving us for at least a month or so. There is no rush or pressure that you need to apply to yourself to ‘get this done’. 

Just as Scrooge awoke from his experience and realized he hadn’t missed out on Christmas Day; you can emerge from this experience with new insights and potential breakthroughs that will impact your life tremendously going forward.

If you feel like you may need some support or direction, I think I can help.  We can look at your chart together and have a conversation. Or there is an option to receive a written or recorded analysis of your chart that you can review at your own pace.

Know that you always have the power to make your own choices.

A testimonial of a client’s recent experiences within this transit cycle:

“This has been a critical period of introspection and reflection- A tearing down and destruction of the old conditioning and belief patterns. Confronting of past pain. Breakthrough-final death of an old version of myself. Very pronounced, noticeable. Newer version is now apparent, but the actions must continue to crystallize this new definition of myself. I didn’t add anything new, but it was death of the old cover and an opening of a gate within the prison where my true self had been locked. Uncovering and coming out feeling…revelation. Very high intensity and significant feelings of loss and grief that led to some despair. Now that I have mourned, I can now start revealing the true self.  Now, new boundaries are going to be made and will be tested as I relate. Now, I must hold myself within my defined boundaries rather than a mental prison. Choose those who can help provide safe space and support. This is different and I’m losing this fear-like I think when I let go of the rope. It’s not like you actually physically let go of something, it’s a feeling. It’s this energy inside you, right here, that you know that you’re free! I’m still trying to comprehend that I crossed the threshold-definitely did that there’s no doubt about that. The pressure was very much like- where am I going? Why am I stuck in this mode?  I’m in this doorway. I’m stuck like I’m standing in this doorway, and I don’t want to go through. and I think Christmas Eve was that stepping through like I had to get a little push for myself. You can go! I got pushed through. There wasn’t a whole lot of people that I was leaving behind because it was : will they leave me behind when they see that I am different? I don’t think they will go because this version of me- this is the authentic version -not covered up or pretended by super ego persona. This is a genuine mind. And this genuine me has these needs and wants for expression and to give and get. You know, give and take, receive - and that’s with the people of my life. But yeah, there was a lot of picking up new work of revealing of me, revealing of authentic-always-been-there version of me but it feels new because it has been covered up for so long.”

A deeper look at the transits:

Mercury rx conjunct Venus conjunct Pluto in Capricorn

·         How do I redefine my own sense of self-worth and self-authority in the face of past conditioning and pain? How do I set a new direction once I have confronted and released the past?

Mercury rx sextile Neptune in Pisces

·         There is support for self-forgiveness, healing the inner critic.

South node in a yod to Mars retrograde (gibbous phase) and Chiron (full phase). Uranus is the boomerang point.

·         There is an internal crisis that requires adjustment of how I wish to assert my will in the face of opinions of others. How do I reconcile the wounding of my past by confronting my losses, betrayals, abandonment? How do I face the feelings of rejection, alienation, and being misunderstood?  Potential for sudden breakthroughs and insights. And the drive to individuate.

Chiron recently direct in Aries

·         Have we been doing the inner work to breakdown our conditioning and individuate ourselves? Where do we still hold the thoughts that we are worthy of rejection?

Jupiter conjunct moon in Aries

·         Change is desired, emotions are front and center- I want to change my belief patterns, I must do something and now, but I may not know what that something is. I am frustrated and insecure while carrying the impetus to just do it!

The Cold Moon-Capricorn New Moon

December 23, 2022

Saturn is the planet associated with this constellation and is often referred to as the planet of time, karma, and discipline. This energy brings us the sense of responsibility, maturity, and self authority. But at its evolutionary core-it brings us new direction.

An excerpt from a letter written by a first century Jewish Christian contains what, I feel, is the essence of the Capricorn New Moon and Capricorn season overall. 

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.”

• What does it mean to be sober-minded, vigilant, watchful, aware? Does it have to mean the trauma response of always looking over your shoulder or walking on eggshells? Or can it mean to know your own mind and have boundaries in place?

• Who is the true adversary-is it a person, an entity? Or perhaps it is truly an outdated mindset or pattern of conditioning. Now is the time to let it go.

The Devil, as one of the major arcana of the Tarot, represents Capricorn. The fullness of the archetype includes its shadow of toxicity, rigidity, restriction, and limitation.

But, oh there is hope… the potential for something new. The cardinal point at high noon in the natural zodiac shines the light on what is meant to be expressed in the world. Can you feel the stirring?

• What is faith?

My personal favorite definition is - Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. 

• Have you been scared to hope, lost the joy of  potential?

• What are you manifesting? This is your unseen goal. And your faith is the evidence of its existence on its way to you-or you to it.

• What is the purpose of the last part of the above excerpt? All kinds of suffering exist all over the world. Is it meant to depress us even more?!? I would argue-no! It is to remind each and every one of us that we are NOT ALONE. Yes, we have our own individual experiences of pain, but we do not have to stay isolated.

Holiday time and the end of the old year moving into a new one is always a joyful time for me. Perhaps, it is because my Capricorn moon feels seen by the light of the Sun or maybe because it has the opportunity to create new memories with friends and family. 

Whatever this season is bringing to you, I wish you blessings for the holidays and the upcoming new year.  If you find yourself struggling to find hope, feel you have lost your faith, worry about being alone-please reach out. Let’s take a look at your chart together.

If you are interested in learning the basics of Evolutionary Astrology to better understand your own path, follow me here and on Meta for updates. I will be offering some new courses in 2023. Links can be found at the bottom of this page.

Jupiter in Aries…embrace the freefall

Jupiter begins its new 12 year journey on December 20, 2022 when it enters the beginning of the zodiac-Aries. This is an opportunity for a great new birth of exuberant energy that can propel us forward after these past few heavy, challenging years. Shadow Jupiter in Aries can take things too far, so it is always good to take a measure of the risk. But my advice to all (especially myself) is to JUMP-DO IT SCARED-and EMBRACE THE FREEFALL.

As an evolutionary astrologer, my view of the transits is always focused on the potential. I see and understand the challenges, but can always see the possibilities of redemption within. This is what I choose to express and offer to you…POSSIBILITY and POTENTIAL.

As Jupiter enters Aries, it is in a tense conversation with the Sun at its final push through Jupiter’s home sign of Sagittarius.

• What is showing up for you in the area of faith, philosophy, traditions? Are you feeling the impetus to push now-to birth the new life that has been growing in your creative womb?

Jupiter in Aries (impetus) is supporting the Moon in Scorpio (deep personal transformation) and being supported by Pluto in Capricorn (new direction after the death of the old).

• How is this creative new life defined by your recent personal growth and where are you being asked to share your knowledge with others?

Venus and Mercury remain together in Capricorn as Mercury begins to slow before its retrograde beginning December 29th. Venus (our values) and Mercury (our thought patterns) in the sign of Capricorn want structure. They want a plan, but can easily become stuck. Especially as they meet up in a square to the wounded healer Chiron, currently retrograde in Aries.

• Where are your fears and limiting beliefs keeping you boxed in? It is more than ok to let go of these self-imposed restrictions. You (and I) have never not been worthy!

YOU CAN TAKE UP SPACE!

As the Solstice ushers us into the next season, the Sun begins its annual trek through Capricorn. Capricorn, for all its negative reviews, is so much more than ‘work and no play’, ‘only concerned with money’, or ‘cold and unfeeling’. Capricorn brings us into the new year and sets us in a new direction with laser focus. It can give us a concrete expression of determination.

So, here we are-standing on the ledge with our goals in sight. But we must make the jump-like Neo in The Matrix.

Free the mind, take the jump, and embrace the freefall…

Stay tuned for the New Moon in Capricorn forecast coming later this week. The Cold Moon will occur on December 23, 2022.